Monday, January 26, 2009

Opportunistic Ripoff Artists

"How can you get a permit to do a goddamn illegal thing?" - Dr. Leonard H. 'Bones' McCoy, Star Trek III - The Search for Spock


Only in the world of government can you implement a policy, enforce it for 47 years and steadfastly refuse to change it – even though you know it doesn’t work!

The Cuban embargo was designed to bring about the downfall of Castro. Hey, how’s that workin’ for ya?

This ridiculous embargo bred a highly-profitable industry. Counterfeit Cuban Cigars.

After the cigar boom of the 90’s, when demand for premium cigars in the USA soared, enterprising people in Cuba and in other cigar-producing nations discovered that they could package lesser-quality cigars as authentic Habanos product, and pawn it off as the real thing to a public which has this pleasure denied to them.

Introducing “1001cubancigars.com”

From their website:

“Authenticity: All our Cuban cigars are 100% genuine, hand-rolled by Cuban master cigar makers, and carry all the manufacturer's trademarks of a genuine Cuban cigar.

“Quality: We carry only the highest quality Premium Cuban cigar brands. Once the cigars pass their rigorous inspection, our qualified personel inspects them once more prior to shipping to you from our order fulfillment center in Geneva, Switzerland.”

To which I respectfully observe: Bullshit!! Total bullshit!! Incredible bullshit!!!!!

Yes, these are high-quality fakes. But they are FAKES!!

The unsuspecting novice consumer stands no chance. The boxes had all required labels, stamps and insignia. The cigar bands themselves were 100% authentic. The tubes were exactly like the authentics. The cigars themselves? Completely second-tier, veiny wrappers, inconsistent color, rolled and cut in a hurry. Some are really good, and some are really, really bad. And definitely not authentic Habanos.

Sadly, you truly have to be a real cigar enthusiast to tell the difference. But the reality is, they’re crap. Fakes. Counterfeit. 1001cubancigars.com sells fakes. I’m pissed.

Bill Clinton campaigned in ’92 with the promise of opening up Cuba. As with all the other things he campaigned on in that year, he lied.

It’s time to cut the crap and open up Cuba for the rest of us. A half century of failed policy is enough. Even for government.



“These are wonderful things we’ve achieved in Havana, and there’s no limit to where we can go from here…… The hotels here are bigger and swankier than any of the rough joints we’ve put in Vegas.” -- Hyman Roth, The Godfather Part 2

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It depends on what your definition of "authentic habanos" is. They may not be of high quality, but from your description of the packaging I'd wager that they ARE Cubano, just not good habanos.

A cigar made of rejected leaves from the masters could possibly be a better smoke than many of the other known "fakes" whose only connection to the island of Cuba is the picture of Ricky Ricardo hanging on the wall in the men's toilet. :)

Just my dos centavos.

La Cabella Roja

Anonymous said...

I believe you do NOT KNOW ACTUALLY WHAT AN AUTHENTIC CUBAN CIGAR REALLY LOOKS LIKE!!!! Have you ever been to Cuba my American Friend?

Rusty said...

I do know what an inferior wrapper looks like.

I do know that authentic Habanos are consistent in color throughout a box.

I do know that a stretched wrapper is one that was *discarded* at the factory and later used to roll a substandard cigar.

I also do know that an authentic Habano does not flare and POP midway through the smoke like a poorly rolled joint.

So the issue is not whether or not I've been to Cuba, since such an admission would incriminate me in my locale, the issue is simply that 1001cubancigars.com sells bullshit FAKE COUNTERFEIT cuban cigars.

Any more stupid fucking questions?

Anonymous said...

You Sir are a clueless douchebag.

Go spend 2X on your boxes that suit your standards but are the same that we get for half.

Anonymous said...

Totaly agree! I bought 4 boxes from 1001 and all of them looks like original. Cigar appierence, construction and even smell are like original.
But! Smoking expirience was very bad. Uneven burn, tunneling, tarry taste...
I think they are cuban but either poorly made or poorly stored for a long period. So I treat them as fakes.

Anonymous said...

Yes, It seems too good to be true!!The prices are way to low including shipping?