Opportunistic Ripoff Artists

"How can you get a permit to do a goddamn illegal thing?" - Dr. Leonard H. 'Bones' McCoy, Star Trek III - The Search for Spock

Only in the world of government can you implement a policy, enforce it for 47 years and steadfastly refuse to change it – even though you know it doesn’t work!

The Cuban embargo was designed to bring about the downfall of Castro. Hey, how’s that workin’ for ya?

This ridiculous embargo bred a highly-profitable industry. Counterfeit Cuban Cigars.

After the cigar boom of the 90’s, when demand for premium cigars in the USA soared, enterprising people in Cuba and in other cigar-producing nations discovered that they could package lesser-quality cigars as authentic Habanos product, and pawn it off as the real thing to a public which has this pleasure denied to them.

Introducing “1001cubancigars.com”

From their website:

“Authenticity: All our Cuban cigars are 100% genuine, hand-rolled by Cuban master cigar makers, and carry all the manufacturer's trademarks of a genuine Cuban cigar.

“Quality: We carry only the highest quality Premium Cuban cigar brands. Once the cigars pass their rigorous inspection, our qualified personel inspects them once more prior to shipping to you from our order fulfillment center in Geneva, Switzerland.”

To which I respectfully observe: Bullshit!! Total bullshit!! Incredible bullshit!!!!!

Yes, these are high-quality fakes. But they are FAKES!!

The unsuspecting novice consumer stands no chance. The boxes had all required labels, stamps and insignia. The cigar bands themselves were 100% authentic. The tubes were exactly like the authentics. The cigars themselves? Completely second-tier, veiny wrappers, inconsistent color, rolled and cut in a hurry. Some are really good, and some are really, really bad. And definitely not authentic Habanos.

Sadly, you truly have to be a real cigar enthusiast to tell the difference. But the reality is, they’re crap. Fakes. Counterfeit. 1001cubancigars.com sells fakes. I’m pissed.

Bill Clinton campaigned in ’92 with the promise of opening up Cuba. As with all the other things he campaigned on in that year, he lied.

It’s time to cut the crap and open up Cuba for the rest of us. A half century of failed policy is enough. Even for government.

“These are wonderful things we’ve achieved in Havana, and there’s no limit to where we can go from here…… The hotels here are bigger and swankier than any of the rough joints we’ve put in Vegas.” -- Hyman Roth, The Godfather Part 2

Welcome! (And all that other cr@p)

Why is it when someone starts a new blog, they seem obligated to write an introductory entry to discuss who they are or why they're writing?

If you know who I am, you know what I'm into. If you happen to stumble across this, well, keep up with the jokes.

I write this for my own amusement, my most successful therapy is venting and with the downfall of USENET, I will occasionally write a blog. I had one for awhile on a lesser-known blog site, but I figured I'd move it here in case there were any masochistic folks with too much time on their own hands that might be entertained or amused by my venting. Other than that, this is about nothing. It will be about as interesting as watching Connecticut Shade leaf dry.

All posts prior to this one were written for the old blog.

That being said....

Welcome to My Blog!

Originally Posted November 5, 2008

America, You Asked For It!

Originally Posted April 7, 2008

Goatse-ing Google Maps

Google Maps is coming to my neighborhood.

Well actually Google Maps already knows my neighborhood. The problem however, is that Google Maps "street view" is coming to my neighborhood.

If you're not familiar with "street view," this is where Google sends out their trucks with 360 degree cameras on them, and photographs every house in every neighborhood in a particular area. Eventually they'll get to every neighborhood and every house in America. I doth protest.

They have already been in my neighborhood. If you click on the intersection a block from my house, you can see the 7-11 I visit each morning in living color on your computer. They will be photographing my house, for all the world to look at, sometime in the very near future.

I'm gonna Goatse them. I'm not sure how, but I'm gonna Goatse them.

Okay, if you're reading this and you're not familiar with the term "Goatse" well, consider yourself lucky. But -- you'll be sure to read further. And that's why Wikipedia is what it is. I shall not belabor you with the gory details, but you can read them here --> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse.cx

What I think I'm going to do is put a sign in the front of my house welcoming all Google Maps viewers, with the address of a web page, something like: "For cute photos of cuddly kittens, visit http://rustyscuddlykittens.com . Concurrently, I create the website, and should you visit it, you get a gaping ass, with maybe the Google Maps logo at the bottom.

I detest Google Maps Street View. It's time to fight back. Goatse 'em.

Originally Posted January 3, 2008

One Fine Day to be Nude

It's 33 degrees this morning. One can only long for the day......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYhPzJ6Z5lE

(original post had embedded video, you'll just have to click the link instead)

Originally Posted December 14, 2007

Magnificent Non-denial Denial

Oh you gotta love this!

Roger Clemens becomes the top name implicated in the Major League Baseball steroids scandal, and his attorney issues a statement saying that he was slandered.

Now here's the quote:

"Roger has been repeatedly tested for these substances and he has never tested positive," Clemens' attorney, Rusty Hardin, said in a statement. "There has never been one shred of tangible evidence that he ever used these substances and yet he is being slandered today."

Let's look at this magnificent example of a non-denial denial.

1) Does the attorney say anywhere that Clemens did not use steroids?

Wow! How could he leave out such an important statement if it were true?

2) So Roger has never tested positive. Hmmmm, does that mean he never used steroids? Or does that simply mean he never got caught?

3) There's no "tangible" evidence that he used these drugs. Meaning, forget the guy who testified that he shot Roger in the ass many, many times, just focus on the fact that it wasn't video recorded and the bottles and needles were thrown out, and thus, no tangible evidence. We only have the testimony of the guy who helped him.

What a load of bullshit -- but it's the best non-denial denial I've read in a long time. Bravo!


http://tinyurl.com/af3dwf

Originally Posted November 17, 2007

Further Comment is Not Necessary

Originally Posted November 2, 2007

Ten Reasons

I don't recall where I saw this originally, however, I stole this from Boortz. Don't know where he stole it from either.....

Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Originally Posted October 2, 2007

A Long Tradition Comes to a Sad End

On October 3rd, 1978 a tradition began.


Some years earlier, when I was in the fifth grade, I read a biography of Willie Mays. I was captivated by Mays, and by the events that transpired in his rookie year, particularly the fact that the Giants caught the Dodgers, to tie the regular season after the Dodgers had blown a huge lead. The rest of that story is history. Bobby Thomson defeats the Dodgers in the playoff with the "shot heard round the world." October 3rd, 1951.


As a youth, I had a phonograph record celebrating the 1969 Miracle Mets. On that record, was Russ Hodges' call of Thomson's home run. I memorized every inflection of that call.


Dear old Dad, in conveying his love for baseball to me, had once told me how the Dodgers had so big of a lead that summer, that they had ordered new uniforms for the World Series. They had numbers on the *front* of the jersey, and not just the back. Then the Dodgers collapsed. I remember Dad telling me how much of a crushing feeling that was.


So, as any young teenager would do, particularly a fan of Willie Mays, each year on October 3rd, I would come in to whatever room Dad was in and recite Russ Hodges' call of Thomson's home run. It's every teenager's duty to yank their parents' chain as often as possible.


On October 3rd, 1978 as a teenage college student, I knew I wasn't going to see Dad that day. So I called him. A tradition begun.


I yet again recited Russ Hodges' call, only this time over the phone.


I have since phoned Dad every year, without fail. Including the years I lived in the Midwest, New England, The North Pole, and now in the Sunshine State. With the advent of the internet, I was able to readily access a recording of Hodges, and began to play *that* over the phone rather than recite it myself. One year, I even sent a .wav file as an email attachment. Twenty-nine straight years.


A tradition comes to an end.


The team that ultimately replaced the Dodgers and the Giants was the Metropolitan Baseball Club of New York. In short, the New York Mets.


In the year of our lord 2007, the New York Mets pulled off the biggest September collapse in the history of baseball. They blew a 7 game lead with 17 to play, losing a must-win game on the last day of the season, ceding the title to the Philadelphia Phillies.


Three generations of The Rusty Family are incredulous. I'm pretty sure the Mets had ordered new uniforms for the playoffs, just like the Dodgers had. All I can think is -- baseball happens.

My son today is 3 years older than my Dad was in 1951. We went out last night and the look on his face revealed a telling story. I think I know for sure that 57 years from now, he's not going to want to be reminded of the last 3 weeks. Especially from his own bratty, snot-nosed, middle-aged kid.


Dad, I may call you tomorrow, but I'm not mentioning Bobby Thomson ever again.


Russ Hodges, R.I.P.

Originally Posted August 17, 2007

Bevis, not Butthead

Um, I had a little "tiff" with the State of Florida this week.

Specifically, I asked them to comply with the law.

This did not go over well with them. Bureaucrats don't want to know the law, they want to follow their procedure, even if whatever procedure it is violates the law.

Yesterday--I had a very nice conversation with "Buddy" Bevis, who is the Director of the Division of Licensing of the Florida Department of Agriculture. He basically told me to "fuck off," although his exact words were: "See you in court."

Today--I had a very nice conversation with "Buddy" Bevis, who is the Director of the Division of Licensing of the Florida Department of Agriculture. He had some good news for me. The Division has now added the "Rusty" rule, which, without going in to great detail, means that they shall heretofore abide by the law in the State of Florida.

What's the difference between yesterday and today? It's actually quite simple. I fight bureaucrats for a living. A rather 'okay' living. If you know what makes a bureaucrat tick, you can actually induce the behavior you seek. Yeah, now I owe a political favor to someone, which I will gladly pay, but the outcome is correct. I actually made the State of Florida abide by the law. What a fucking concept.

I am not to be trifled with. Some years ago, in a raided office swarming with teams of armed FBI agents, one of them tried to intimidate me. Even with large weapons, FBI agents are still bureaucrats. I explained that I didn't find him intimidating in the least, since I deal with the IRS on a daily basis, and I was now going about my business unimpeded by him or his weapon. He told me, "Even WE don't mess with them."

Should you ever have to resolve an issue fairly with a government bureaucrat, feel free to give me a call. It only took 24 hours for Bevis to see the light.

And for today--Buddy Bevis, you're not a butthead.

Originally Posted August 12, 2007

This is My GLOCK! There Are Many Like It, But This One is MINE!

With a tip of the hat to Stanley Kubrick and Gaston Glock

Originally Posted August 7, 2007

Begone Accursed 11 year-olds!!

After many years, I have reached the terminal of the Hogwarts Express.

Bummer -- it was a magnificent journey.

Originally Posted July 30, 2007

Playing from the Back Tees

I'm a mediocre golfer. Okay, that's an exaggeration. I'm a lousy golfer.

I've been playing the game since I was 12 years old, but no matter, I suck at it. Notwithstanding that, I still enjoy it. I play as often as I can, whenever I can.

In all the years I've been playing, I've noticed this macho thing that goes on. When you get a group of guys together to play golf, someone always wants to play from the "pro" tees, the furthest back, the ones that make the game most difficult to play. I on the other hand, because I suck big time, would rather play from the "white" tees, which were designed for the average player. But, it's not macho or manly to suggest, WTF we all suck, let's just play from the front. To be direct here, no matter what tees my opponents play from, I always play from the front. I find it makes the game more enjoyable to not make it impossible.

So, why this observation now?

Today I went to the gun range. I was trying to work on my proficiency with my soon-to-be acquired weapon of choice, a Glock 26 9mm. If you've never been to an indoor gun range or fired a handgun, then you wouldn't know that the standard distance for target shooting indoors is 50 feet.

I suck. I can barely see the target "bulls eye" from 50 feet away, much less hit it. I know from prior experience that to keep my aim true, I need to fire at the target from 25 feet.
When I entered the range, there were 3 other shooters going through their paces. I noticed that all the targets were back in the range, at the 50 foot distance. After I loaded the weapon and got set to fire, I set my target at my basic competency distance of 25 feet. The more I fired, the better my success, but I noted something else on the range.....

....by the time I had been shooting for 15 minutes or so, everyone else on the range had shortened their distance to the same 25 feet that I was shooting at.

The back tees. A macho thing. All these guys were shooting to 50 feet because *everyone else* was. Notwithstanding that they couldn't hit their targets. It wasn't "manly" to shoot at 25 feet. Until I came along with my Glock 26. Even the guy shooting the fully-automatic Uzi moved his Osama Bin Laden target to 25 feet, before he blew the living shit out of it.

With women, it's shoes. With men, it's playing from the back tees. Go figure.

My guess is that if I ever (god-forbid) have to fire my weapon at a person to defend myself, my family or my property, it will be from within 10 feet. Proficiency at 25 feet is more than necessary. You guys playing from the back tees lose too many balls, and waste way too much ammunition. I'll keep playing from the whites.

Originally Posted July 22, 2007

Twelve years ago when I first became internet active, the World Wide Web seemed to be a vast wasteland of uselessness. Web sites were either personal "Look at me I have a web page!", commercial (generally a repeat of a company's current magazine campaign), or just straight up porn. Finding useful information was usually a futile effort.

Thankfully, this has changed.

I found myself with a problem. I was one book behind in reading the Harry Potter series. When "Half-Blood Prince" was released in 2005, I dove in head-first, only to find that in the 2 years since "Order of the Phoenix," I had forgotten much of what had happened. So many events in the early going of Book 6 referred to Book 5, that I found Book 6 nearly unreadable. Not wanting to go back and re-read book 5 just to read book 6, I set it aside. Of course, within a few days, some blabbermouth on TV revealed the big ending of "Prince," and to say I was pissed off is an understatement. I was now one book behind, with no motivation to read it since I knew how it ended.

This posed a problem as the release of the final book approached.

My plan to get caught up was to wait until the Book 5 movie was released, watch it, then quickly read Book 6 in the week prior to the release of the final Chapter, "Deathly Hallows." A good concept, but poor in execution. The "Phoenix" movie is not nearly long enough or detailed enough to cover the information I needed before reading "Prince." I was stumped as to what to do. Re-read Book 5, then read book 6, and do it all before book 7? This would be an insurmountable task for someone who is gainfully employed.

And then I discovered this:

http://tinyurl.com/aaqw37


In 38 pages, a complete summary, including links that will clarify specific people and events when needed. A better solution to my problem cannot be found.



Twelve years ago THIS is the kind of thing I had always thought we should be able to access on the Web. And now 36 hours after discovering this information, I am further in to book 6 than I had ever gotten before. I should be finished by Monday, and dive right in to the final chapter. Before some fucking 11-year-old big mouth blows the ending for me. Again.



Thank god for the Internet.

Originally Posted July 14, 2007

Every morning I wake up and I give thanks to:

1 - The 2nd amendment of the U.S. Constitution

2 - The 10th amendment of the U.S. Constitution

3 - Article 1, Section 8 of the Florida Constitution

4 - Gaston Glock

Originally Posted July 4, 2007

I wonder what percentage of Americans can even pass this. Now, ask them about Paris Hilton.....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19552808/

Originally Posted June 2, 2007