How *Not* to Liqidate

WTF is it with these people running corporate liquidations? Is the concept so difficult?

The purpose of a liquidation is to turn a hard asset in to cash. To do that, you price the hard asset so that it is so attractive, the conversion to cash is instantaneous. This is Bankruptcy 101.

But then again, there are people in the corporate world who seem to survive in spite of themselves. Ultimately, they will fail. Gloriously.

A recent example of this came early this year, when Circuit City went Chapter 7, and began to liquidate.

Back in December, as a Christmas present for someone, I purchased a GPS navigation system from Circuit City. They were in Chapter 11 reorganization at that point in time, ready to poise themselves for the future. The GPS system I bought sold "on special" for Christmas, for $99.00.

Later, in January, Circuit City announced that their reorganization plan didn't pan out, they were forced to go out of business, and liquidate their inventory. I returned to the same store, to purchase the same item, but now they were looking to immediately liquidate.

A rational human being would assume that if your intent is to liquidate, and you advertise savings of40 to 90%, that your prices would be cheaper in January than they were in December. This turned out to be not the case.

The same item I purchased for Christmas for $99, was liquidation priced in January at....

..... $170.

Dumbasses.

I was ready and willing to purchase 2 or 3 of these, assuming the pricing would be around 70 bucks. Not a chance. Apparently, when you hire 3 consulting firms to set your liquidation pricing, it ends up working exactly as though your congressman was buying a toilet seat.

This brings me to my current thing to bitch about.

Chrysler's "reorganization."

Without comment on the fascist takeover of Chrysler by the Federal government, as part of the Chapter 11 reorganization plan, Chrysler cast several hundred dealerships off in to the cosmos. Those dealerships were required to liquidate their Chrysler inventory by the close of business today.

I think the shmucks who worked the Circuit City liquidation were also the consultants for my local "going out of business" Chrysler dealers.

I priced a vehicle from the dealer back in February, when they were running the "employee pricing" promotion. The vehicle I sought was then priced at fifteen-five. I did not purchase it.

Yesterday, I had a nice discussion with a salesperson from a liquidating Chrysler dealer. He gave me his liquidation price on the same vehicle I looked at back in February. The liquidation price? Wait for it.....

....... Seventeen five.

Are you shittin' me?

There was even a TV news story about people turning up at that dealership looking for bargains, and turning away saying "we thought the prices would be better."

Know what? You liquidation clowns can't differentiate your asses from a hole in the ground. In some circles, I'm considered an "expert" in bankruptcies. From my expert viewpoint, you morons have completely missed the point. I hope you drive my car all the way to the bank.

Suits. Ties. Heads deeply embedded in your asses. Nice.