A Good Man is one who's being a Man

As much as I dislike Tiger Woods, and those who know me well know I can't stand him, I'm impressed with the way he's chosen to "man up" in this situation.

Wife beats the shit out of you and chases you with a golf club, being pissed that you've been screwing other women. Here in Florida, she's committed a domestic violence felony.

In reality, she's correct, Tiger Woods deserves to have his wife chase his ass down with a 5-iron. So, instead of letting FHP arrest his wife, Tiger lawyers up, stays completely mum, and there's no case against his wife. Tiger takes the fall, wife (who's the innocent party) gets off scott free, and he's "manned up" to his actions. It's an issue between him and his wife, not between his wife and the State of Florida.

As much as I can't stand you, good job Tiger Woods. You're still a shit, but you've manned up to it.

Trip Screwing A**holes

I find myself this afternoon in the uncomfortable position of defending the TSA. This is the Transportation Security Administration. A more bumbling, inept example of the uselessness of government employees cannot be found.



After September 11th, then Senate majority leader Tom Daschle absolutely insisted that airport screening be done by federal employees. "You can't professionalize if you don't Federalize." was the saying at the time. What a pile of horsesh*t.

I have observed TSA quite closely over the years and they are the perfect example of government incompetence. WTF is the point of wanding down a wheelchair-bound octagenarian with an oxygen tank? Please explain how taking nail clippers from the pilot makes the aircraft any safer?

Without delving in to how these idiots don't know their own rules on checked firearms, or why cigar cutters are not treated consistently from checkpoint to checkpoint, I recall a time when I really wanted to smack them all silly.

I was wearing an open overshirt going through the screening checkpoint and TSA moron "A" tells me I have to put the overshirt in a bucket and put it through the machine. I asked why, and he told me that "You're wearing it like a jacket, so it must go on the belt." I followed his moronic instructions, got to the other side, whereby TSA Moron "B" takes my shoes from the belt and sets them right on top of my shirt. I complained to TSA Moron "B" that he shouldn't treat my shirt like that, I didn't mind being screened, but treat my belongings with repect. TSA Moron "B" told me I shouldn't have put the shirt on the belt to begin with. Arrrgh!! I told him moron "A" told me I was required to, but moron "B" told me moron "A" would never have done that. Supervisor (TSA Moron "C") was sitting there watching nothing. Just sitting there, looking down at whatever was on his podium, oblivious to everything in the screening area that he was supervising. As I passed by, he may have even been napping, I commented "Great job, ain't it?"

In the private sector all three morons would be unemployed. Professionalize my ass.

So yesterday I ran across another TSA story that really had me pissed. A lady was selected for secondary screening and during that process, a TSA employee walked off with her toddler, literally took him away, to screen him separately.

You can read the entire account here: http://www.mybottlesup.com/tsa-agents-took-my-son/


I was infuriated.

Today -- I found out that the whole story was bullshit. The security video of her entire encounter with TSA has been posted online here: http://www.tsa.gov/blog/2009/10/response-to-tsa-agents-took-my-son.html


As much as I dislike TSA (who now, because they wear metal badges no longer have to go through screening themselves, yeah I'm real confident) the video tells me they handled this lady perfectly fine, can't imagine what put such a bug up her ass. It isn't necessary to make stuff up. They're asshats alright, but lying about them doesn't help.

Bureaucrats with badges are bad enough, bitches on Xanex can be worse.

God How I Miss Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan was a private citizen in 1961, 48 years ago. He was and is completely right here.

Tell Me Something I *Don't* Know

Ah yes, the world of academia.....

A study was published recently by three researchers, 2 from Baylor and 1 from the University of Houston - Clear Lake, entitled: "Harry Potter and Children's Perceptions of the News Media."

This study (which can be found here: http://www.acjournal.org/holdings/vol10/01_Spring/articles/sturgill_etal.php ) manages to tell us that through the first six Harry Potter books, the portrayal of the news media is overwhelmingly negative. Their concern is that this portrayal could give children a belief that "all news media are slanted and deceptive."

LOL And your point is? Why *not* give children this portrayal, since it is obviously closer to the truth than those deceptive and slanted journalists would have you believe.

Hey all you non-slanted journalists, you care to explain these photographs to me?

It was completely obvious to anyone following last year's presidential election that the American news media had a collective hard-on for Senator Obama. Journalistic integrity out the window.

Obama's family -- Off Limits!

The Palin Family -- Open Season!

Maybe we should look at the respect that "journalists" show each of the two most-recent Presidents.


The authors of the study make this statement: "The ideal goal of journalism is to ensure an informed citizenry in an objective and truthful manner."

Maybe someone should have told that to Dan Rather before he broadcast forged documents regarding President Bush's military service.

To Misses Sturgill, Winney and Libhardt -- I submit to you that you are correct. The portrayal of the news media in the Harry Potter books, through Rita Skeeter, The Daily Prophet and the tabloid-esq The Quibbler is overwhelmingly negative. I submit to you however, that this is *precisely* how we should represent the media to our children since, notwithstanding the journalistic "ideals" which you've highlighted, is actually the way it really is.

We should teach our children the truth.

It Doesn't Pay to be the Best

Late last summer, I stumbled across a newly-introduced cigar. It is called the Casa Magna, Colorado. It caught my attention because of its beautiful wrapper (the tobacco-leaf wrapper, not the cellophane) and the fact that the Robusto size was only $5.25 per stick.

I smoked a couple of singles and discovered this was truly a fantasic cigar. At $115 for a box of 27, this was an amazing discovery. It became my number one cigar. I smoked it all last fall and was loving it. I was recommending it to all my cigar buddies as they had not discovered this fine smoke.

First sign of a problem.

Each issue of Cigar Aficionado Magazine includes a section rating dozens of cigars, basing their scoring on overall flavor, appearance and construction. The final ratings are on a scale of 1 - 100. Any rating 88 or above is an excellent smoke. A rating of 90 or above is a truly classic smoke. Cigar Aficionado rated the Casa Magna Colorado Robusto with a 94. I was quite pleased by the rating, as it reinforced my belief that my own taste in cigars matches that of true cigar experts.

Then -- disaster struck.

At the conclusion of each year with their year-end issue, Cigar Aficionado releases their list of what they consider the top 25 "Cigars of the Year." And, you guessed it... Ths year the Casa Magna Colorado Robusto was on the top of that list, rated the #1 cigar of 2008.

From that point on, it seemed that every human being who set foot in the cigar store asked for the #1 cigar. Demand outpaced supply 10-fold, and finding this great cigar became impossible. At the time, I had more than one full box on hand, but they became precious, to be guarded and smoked only on special occasions.

I have not seen a full box of these cigars in more than six months.

Cigars are not Cabbage Patch Kids. You can't just re-tool a new factory and ramp up supply production when demand calls for it. The specific flavor is created by an individual blend of tobaccos that have been specially cured in a precise manner over months and years of time. There is a limited supply of that tobacco. Additionally, expert cigar rollers aren't walking down every street. It is an art form to roll a perfect cigar, requiring years and years of experience. Somehow I knew that when I would finally be able to get my hands on another box, they would *not* be the cigar I remembered.

Last week, I was in San Antonio. As is my custom when visiting a new town, I patronized a rather nice cigar store to examine their selection. While browsing the humidor, I stumbled across an open box of the Casa's. I inquired about a full box, which was available and I purchased it.

The flavor is the same. Just a really nice medium to full bodied cigar with a magnificent finish.

The construction -- sucks!

At least 50% of the cigars that I have smoked from that box have been improperly rolled. The draw causes the burn to move quickly down the center leaving the wrapper and most of the filler to slowly smolder. This creates an overly hot cigar, with a lack of taste and an awful burn.

In my experience, this kind of roll turns up in about 1 of every hundred premium cigars and is a fluke. In this case, it's turned out to be the norm.

Bummer. I really liked the original smoke. Damn you Cigar Aficionado. And Damn you Casa Magna producers for ruining a great smoke.

It Says "F R A G I L E" -- Must be Italian

Happy Father's Day!

I won the Father's Day drawing at the cigar bar, and received a magnificent prize.

It's a kegorator decorated with Oliva V cigars.

So why is it that someone thinks it's really this in disguise?

I wonder.

Anyway, I love it.

How *Not* to Liqidate

WTF is it with these people running corporate liquidations? Is the concept so difficult?

The purpose of a liquidation is to turn a hard asset in to cash. To do that, you price the hard asset so that it is so attractive, the conversion to cash is instantaneous. This is Bankruptcy 101.

But then again, there are people in the corporate world who seem to survive in spite of themselves. Ultimately, they will fail. Gloriously.

A recent example of this came early this year, when Circuit City went Chapter 7, and began to liquidate.

Back in December, as a Christmas present for someone, I purchased a GPS navigation system from Circuit City. They were in Chapter 11 reorganization at that point in time, ready to poise themselves for the future. The GPS system I bought sold "on special" for Christmas, for $99.00.

Later, in January, Circuit City announced that their reorganization plan didn't pan out, they were forced to go out of business, and liquidate their inventory. I returned to the same store, to purchase the same item, but now they were looking to immediately liquidate.

A rational human being would assume that if your intent is to liquidate, and you advertise savings of40 to 90%, that your prices would be cheaper in January than they were in December. This turned out to be not the case.

The same item I purchased for Christmas for $99, was liquidation priced in January at....

..... $170.

Dumbasses.

I was ready and willing to purchase 2 or 3 of these, assuming the pricing would be around 70 bucks. Not a chance. Apparently, when you hire 3 consulting firms to set your liquidation pricing, it ends up working exactly as though your congressman was buying a toilet seat.

This brings me to my current thing to bitch about.

Chrysler's "reorganization."

Without comment on the fascist takeover of Chrysler by the Federal government, as part of the Chapter 11 reorganization plan, Chrysler cast several hundred dealerships off in to the cosmos. Those dealerships were required to liquidate their Chrysler inventory by the close of business today.

I think the shmucks who worked the Circuit City liquidation were also the consultants for my local "going out of business" Chrysler dealers.

I priced a vehicle from the dealer back in February, when they were running the "employee pricing" promotion. The vehicle I sought was then priced at fifteen-five. I did not purchase it.

Yesterday, I had a nice discussion with a salesperson from a liquidating Chrysler dealer. He gave me his liquidation price on the same vehicle I looked at back in February. The liquidation price? Wait for it.....

....... Seventeen five.

Are you shittin' me?

There was even a TV news story about people turning up at that dealership looking for bargains, and turning away saying "we thought the prices would be better."

Know what? You liquidation clowns can't differentiate your asses from a hole in the ground. In some circles, I'm considered an "expert" in bankruptcies. From my expert viewpoint, you morons have completely missed the point. I hope you drive my car all the way to the bank.

Suits. Ties. Heads deeply embedded in your asses. Nice.